i don't like to spill too much of my heart out on lj but in this case, i don't know where else to go.
it's been a wonderful ride, really.. .it has. I am just so sick and tired of feeling like i can and should do better. it doesnt help when everyone around me constantly reminds me of that, also.
i am going out of my mind.
maybe 2 years is where it should end? 
maybe i am reading too deep into it. dont get me wrong, i love him. i love him to pieces but is that really enough? i want someone i am 100% sure of. i dont want the constant doubt playing in my mind with every move i make. 
it is breaking me down and wearing me out. 
i need something. something, someone, anything, anyone to help me figure out where i should be going or what i should be doing. i dont feel like i am doing too well at navigating my life anymore. does anyone know there way around a map?
help me.

this is a private party, yo.